My Dog Sharts the Bed

PirateGoat sharts the bed and pretends like it wasn’t her. This has occured almost 5 times since we  moved in with DireMole. I have never seen it physically happen but I know it does because I’m apart of the clean-up team.

1402685467211762PirateGoat sleeps on DireMole’s side of the bed so I have been lucky  to avoid the sharts. The only thing we can determine is that PirateGoat sharts in her sleep and has no recollection that it happened. Which makes it a challenge to punish her… or to get a confession on who pooped the bed??? Was it DireMole? Was it Me? or… Was it PirateGoat? Based on fecal-size and the scene of its appearance, it seems that PirateGoat is guilty. Plus, she can’t defend herself.

This weekend I was changing the sheets (I do this at least weekly) and low- and- behold I found a dried, shart nugget. Gross! It gets me every time. It was confiscated from the bottom of DireMole’s side of the bed… typically, where the little butt-pirate sleeps. I consider it lucky when I find it dried and not smeared. DireMole hasn’t been so lucky. So there’s that. All I know is that DireMole must really love me if he’s willing to sleep next to my sharting dog.



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