It’s That Time of Year

It’s that time of the year when traffic gets craptastic and back-to-school sales overrun rational intentions. The other day I saw an online ad promoting back-to-school cars. Apparently, some asshole-families feel the need to get a brand new car to one up other carpoolers. Sounds pretty obnoxious in my opinion.

A creepy one uper family.

A creepy, one uper family sporting their new ride.

This scenario became real when I was walking my obese Australian Shepherd past a neighbor’s home. A bratty-looking kid came whaling out of the garage and assumed driving position in the brand new minivan. My initial thought was he is going to back up over me and my overfed pup. I felt for sure there wouldn’t be enough time for the two of us to get out-of-the-way before we were flattened by this immature-driver.  But then, I saw the father nearby. As I looked further, I realized they were installing a garage-door receiver for their I’m not-so-cool-anymore, sell-out van. The dad had asked his bratty kid to jump into the car and hit the button while he was installing the receiver. The paper tag plastered on the window was a dead giveaway that this car was straight-off-the-lot. And by the looks of things, they were very proud of their new vehicle… All the while I was thinking, “dude, your life is over”.


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