I Was Supposed to Cry. Wedding Etiquette.

Recently, my coworker married in a private, destination wedding in Hawaii. Not only was the wedding a big deal, but her traveling to Hawaii was huge. My coworker could hardly contain her excitement weeks before her trip and it became distracting.

When she originally announced that she was going to Hawaii, we were told it was for vacation. As time got closer, we learned it was for a destination wedding. And with a few weeks out, we learned that she was marrying her partner. She was afraid to share with  the office that she’s gay. I can understand her fear, because there are a lot of small minded people in our office who have been vocal on their views on homosexuality. However, due to her inability to retain her excitement, she kept telling more and more people of her real plans. I’m pretty sure that 100% of our office knows that she went to Hawaii to marry her partner.

So she goes to Hawaii for a week, vacations around the city, and gets married. Woot. Congrats! While she was out of the office, life went on and we all continued to remain unaffected by her absence.

She was back at work on Monday and  dragging. But on Tuesday it was an entirely different story. She walked in with a stack of discs and a USB in her hand. Within minutes she placed them on my desk and told me to review all of their pictures and video. To make matters worse, she stood behind me and had me watch poor footage of “swimming with dolphins” (aka, mostly scenes of blue water filmed Blair Witch-style). I watched it and politely commented. She was talking loudly enough to draw attention from other colleagues who were looking for any excuse not to work. Before you know it, my desk was the home entertainment system for watching dolphins.

After the dolphin presentation  finished, I was instructed to watch the wedding video and review the remaining wedding pictures. I completely forgot about it because, well, I was trying to work. She gently reminded me throughout the day with various instant messages asking about my opinion of their pictures. Finally, I opened up Disc 1, clicked through a handful of images and felt that a 5-year old could have photographed less blurry pictures. Whatever. I sent her a note saying that the pictures were very nice and I’m glad they had a good time. It was immediately followed with, have you seen the pictures on Disc 2? Grrr, FML… Over the course of two days I reviewed what felt like hundreds of pictures that I didn’t give a shit about.

Finally, I got to the wedding video. I watched it because I knew I was expected to give a 5-page report following the return of the USB. I’m really hoping they didn’t pay a lot for it. The audio was sloppy and quiet honestly, if they are “in love”, it wasn’t captured. They appeared as two tourists, dressed in white standing on a beach in Hawaii with a generic speech about finding love. It was very staged and they seemed robotic. With all of her anticipation prior to the wedding, I thought she was going to cry through the entire thing… not the case. It was very dry. So, I returned the USB, and again, complimented her on her experience. Her next response was, “Did you cry?” I didn’t know what I was supposed to say at this point because I was taxed from fishing for other polite responses to cover my time of watching dolphins, looking at palm trees, and  reviewing pictures of the hotel.  I responded with “No, was I supposed to?” FAIL. Apparently, in co-worker wedding etiquette, you are supposed to cry at wedding videos and explain to the bride/groom how touching it was to watch their wedding. Then blase about how much you can tell they are ‘in love‘ and that this new chapter is so fucking exciting and the flowers were beautiful AND it was $10,000 well spent to be captured in this 5 minute video.

Consequentially, a few days ago, I was looking for a music video of a song that DireMole and I like. I finally found a video, except it wasn’t of the band. It was a wedding in July of two strangers using the song as their soundtrack. And, for whatever reason, I watched it. And you know what? I lost it. I started crying and actually hid under my desk until I could get my shit together. True story. (If you watch the video, it’s when the groom sees the bride for the first time and runs to her. His face is priceless. And their embrace makes everything alright in the world. Congrats John & Allison, you guys nailed it.)

So, today I decided to watch the strangers wedding video again to see if it still moved me or if I had become desensitized after watching my coworker’s wedding video. Turns out, I choked up again. So, I’m pretty sure it’s not me. I’m not that big of a cynical bitch.

And my questions remain…

  1. If you are going on a vacation/getting married and want to share your pictures/video, can’t you just upload them with one of the many social media and web-based applications?
  2. Is it normal to be militant and force people into viewing your vacation/wedding pictures/video?
  3. Am I barking up the wrong side of the tree?
  4. Am I creepy for coming across a random wedding video and getting teary-eyed watching it?
  5. What does it say about my coworker’s video (whom I know) vs. the strangers video?
  6. Who uses discs?



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