It drives me nuts when coworkers think that computers perform “magic”. At a touch of a button it happens… Auto-magically! It’s one thing to overhear their moronic conversations, it’s another to conversate with them about auto-magical functions.
I’ve discovered that it’s an art to try to speak to them in a language that they can relate to, and not feel alienated.
I had to talk to Cletus for a sanity check… here’s how that went:
Me: So they say “behind-the-scenes” like it’s a fucking magic show. Why can’t they say ‘backend’ when they refer to a (SQL) database?
Cletus: Well, maybe “behind the scenes” is a concept they understand. I don’t know… ‘backend’ to what? A horse’s ass?
Me: Yes, backend. A horse’s backend. We take your data and shove it up a horse’s ass. When it poops, we make reports!
Cletus: Yes, it literally shits out reports.
Cletus: We just cram it all up there.
Me: I’m imagining a horse in a server room just shitting everywhere…
Cletus: …With its tail wagging around.
Me: It’s automagical.