I Feel Like Dancing

Don’t ask me why, but recently I feel like dancing. Specifically to hip hop.

I want to be like the little girl in Missy Elliott's videos.

I want to be like the little girl in Missy Elliott’s videos.

Sometimes I just want to bust a move at my cube. Which I think would be entertaining for everyone. An almost 6 ft tall, white girl in boring office clothes breaking it down while silently jamming out to a secret song. Then resuming back to business-as-usual.

So anyway, I have searched around the city for hip hop classes that are ideal for that someone who has the coordination of a baby giraffe. I think it would be an interesting hobby to have and a nice addition to cross-training options.

P.S. I created that image to give you a visual of me in my hip hop attire.


Christmas Gift Inspiration

Today I was inspired by a DIY gift idea that I can give my coworkers. It seems like every other day we have another social event… holiday potluck, ugly sweater lunch party, secret Santa week, company Christmas party, holiday happy hour, and so forth. I just hope I can show a sliver of appreciation for all the non-stop bullshit I’ve had to avoid.

So to show my appreciation, I plan on wrapping up gently used food items to share with the bozos at work. Since DireMole and I are going out-of-town for an extended holiday break and I don’t want our food to go to waste, this is the perfect solution!

And of course I expect a similar reaction from my colleagues as the kids in this video. They seem to have similar mentalities and maturity-levels.

Here you go Anna, you can have my half eaten tomato salsa. And for you Tony, you get this tortilla that I found in the back of my fridge! Craig gets the egg! Better put that puppy in the fridge unless you want it to go bad. Of course I would wrap the gifts in festive paper or gift bags to put forth that extra effort. You’re so very welcome! …and Happy Holidays!



Could I be a Hipster?

I find myself wondering if I’m a hipster. Typically something at work triggers my questioning of hipster-ism. And then yesterday, Pandora asked me if I wanted to listen to Hipster Holiday Radio. Apparently my music preferences align with hipster according to Pandora’s algorithm. So I decided to see what hipsters are all about before I could self-identify.IMG_3515After reading Wikipedia’s and Urban Dictionary’s definition of a hipster, I realize I fit the description. According to Wikipedia:

The hipster subculture typically consists of white millennials living in urban areas.[1][2] The subculture has been described as a “mutating, trans-Atlantic melting pot of styles, tastes and behavior”[3] and is broadly associated with indie and alternative music, a varied non-mainstream fashion sensibility (including vintage and thrift store-bought clothes), generally progressive political views, organic and artisanal foods, and alternative lifestyles.[4][5][6] Hipsters are typically described as affluent or middle class young Bohemians who reside in gentrifying neighborhoods.[7][8]

But to be a true hipster I can NEVER call myself one. Touche.  Also, I don’t want to suggest that Wikipedia and Urban Dictionary are primary resources. I’m just specifically mentioning them as two of the sources I reviewed.

So the reason I am posting about hipsters is because there is a low-level form of bullying at work that I endure on a weekly basis. It has caused me to feel like I don’t fit, I don’t belong, and that I’m not equal. Am I back in high school? Possibly. Does it feel comforting that I fit into a subculture. Yes. Is it ok to be different? Absolutely. Sometimes I just need to remind myself of my self-worth, values, and weirdo-ness. It’s not me… It’s you.

The Other 19%

Yesterday I joined the 19% club by accidentally dropping my phone into the toilet. Good news, it was clean water. Bad news, my phone has no sign of life.

Like everyone else in the club, I ran to the internet seeking advice, remedies, and consolation. I learned that all smartphones have water sensor tabs so the manufacturer can ensure that you aren’t lying to them about your phone “just won’t turn on, I don’t know what happened…”– scenario. My water sensor was red and there was no hiding that my phone has water damage. I contemplated grabbing a flashlight, a magnifying glass, and some whiteout… and doing some Etsy-style craftiness to my phone’s interior. But then I felt like a cheater.

So, I talked to my local IT guy and asked him if he had a mini Philip screw driver so I could begin an emergency surgery procedure. Of course he didn’t. And he thought I was completely nuts for thinking that this request was reasonable.  Whatever. It was worth a try.

In a panic I left work and drove to the nearest store to buy a bag of rice and a box of plastic bags. A completely normal shopping list. In the future if I spot someone with a similar basket, I would know what’s what. And possibly tell them there is hope for a desirable outcome.

As soon as I left the store and got to my car, I performed the voodoo ritual of adding my phone to a bag of rice. According to the internet, every second counts in hopes that a phone would spring back to life after a swim. I prayed to the electronic-gods that my phone would pull through its coma over the next 24 (critical) hours.

I arrived back at my desk  and placed my comatose phone next to me. That way I could continue monitoring its condition under layers of rice. I felt relieved, unburdened, hopeful, and impatient. But then I became uber productive. And attentive. And almost sociable.

As 4pm rolled around, I was hopeful that traffic wouldn’t suck on my commute home. If it did, what would I do for an hour as I sat on the road with all the other rats? Ugh. The anxieties of not having phone stimulation perplexed me. This could be a creative or really boring commute. And what if Fitz was trying to call me to tell me he would be home late? How would I know if I should walk the PirateGoat without him? I was pensive and liberated. It was kinda nice not having a phone and feeling no responsibility to answer a call, text, or comment.

Dropping my phone in the toilet  gave me a 48hr vacation of distant communication. This is a good thing, I thought to myself…

Luckily everything went well. Traffic didn’t blow, Fitz got home early and I had one of the best times at the dog park in weeks. I wasn’t focused on counting my steps and calories. Instead, I ran, laughed and talked (mostly with other humans). It was pleasant.

Throughout the evening I kept walking over to see if my phone had a pulse. Iit was kinda nice, in a bittersweet way, when it didn’t respond. I contemplated when the next time would be that I wouldn’t want or need my phone…maybe when I’m on a tropical vacation? But then I worried about the cost of having to repair or replace my water-logged phone right before the holidays. Ugh, the agony!

So there it is. I’m annoyed with myself for being so clumsy and inducing  unnecessary stress. But in the silver-lining, I’m enjoying the vacation and realizing by dependency. I wouldn’t want do it accidentally again… but I’m secretly looking forward to the next time I can voluntarily put my phone away and patiently await the next time to use it.

Notable November

Well, I’m a bit late posting my wrap-up for November. It took me a little over 2 days to be a productive after my “staycation” Thanksgiving holiday. It was a decent month and here’s how it went.

1. Cletus– She found a home for Sadie. Thankfully that pup is no longer named “Satye” and her new owner is so happy for a new companion. Also, we solved all the world’s problems through automagic. Thank us later.

2. DireMole– This month we discovered that if we were in an emergency at home that we could jump off our balcony and survive without injury. We might expose ourselves to our neighbors, but at least we wouldn’t be the first.

3. LevelUp– Well, we brewed a chocolate stout for the holidays. And… made 8 different types of cookies to share with family and friends this year. I would like to consider myself an advanced-beginner in the art of cookie making. Of course we were drinking brews while baking. Who doesn’t?

4. PirateGoat– She patiently helped us bake cookies and enjoyed her humans staying home for a long weekend. Now, she can’t get her ass out of bed in the morning to go for a walk. Super bum.

5. SillyGoose– I hate pot lucks and I have finally sat down and curated a list about why I don’t like them. I think it’s reasonable. Also, I had a lot to be thankful for this Thanksgiving. The people and dogs listed above are some of my most favorited and appreciated in my life.